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Foreword

By Beverly Engel, LMFT

Beverly Engel, LMFT is considered one of the world’s leading experts on abuse recovery, and is the author of 23 self-help books, including It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion.

CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE (CSA) is one of the most traumatic and damaging experiences anyone can suffer. It can devastate the mind, body, and spirit. CSA influences and even forms the personality of its victims as well as their ability to protect themselves from further sexual violations.

As much as victims of childhood abuse try to forget what happened to them, the memory and the effects of the abuse can remain—robbing them of their self-confidence, their self-esteem and their sense of safety. Furthermore, the trauma can make it difficult for former victims to believe they deserve to be protected and respected and this sets them up for revictimization. This is because it creates great shame in its victims, causing them to feel worthless, dirty, unacceptable, and even unlovable.

Recovering from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, although certainly possible, can be a long and arduous journey. And it can be a lonely one. Many former victims feel they have no one to reach out to for help, no one to tell their secret to, no one to validate their feelings and their experience. Those who can afford therapy and feel brave enough to reach out for help often don’t know where to turn, and many hesitate because they don’t know how to find a good therapist, one who is educated and experienced in trauma, one who is also caring and compassionate. Thriving After Sexual Abuse offers important information about how therapy works and suggests the right questions to ask potential therapists.

          Whether you are in therapy or not, Denise will help you navigate this difficult journey. She opens her heart to her readers in order to not only share her own abuse experiences but to light the way for the travelers who come after her. She guides readers around obstacles on the path and lights the way to alternative paths that are safer and more likely to help former victims reach their destination.

Denise speaks directly to her readers, which is both engaging and soothing. Her compassionate voice throughout encourages readers to continue the process of healing even when it gets the toughest. She continues to reveal her own experiences throughout the book, sharing those practices, such as the benefits of exercise, yoga, meditation, and creative expression that were most beneficial to her. She moves on to offer strategies that can help readers deal with everything from how to handle triggers and body memories to who to tell and how to confront the perpetrator. She also addresses the controversial issue of forgiveness.

Denise ends the book by sharing her own inspirational poems—thus revealing still more of her own journey and modeling a way for readers to express their own feelings related to their recovery. The poems are both impactful and inspirational, offering readers a ray of hope in the midst of darkness.

I recommend this book to anyone who was sexually abused as a child or adolescent, whether you are female or male, whether you are currently in therapy or contemplating looking for a therapist. The book is particularly beneficial for those who are just beginning their healing journey as it offers nearly everything one needs to know about the process of recovery. This book is a gift to anyone healing from the devastation of child sexual abuse. Not only will it help you feel less alone, but her advice will steer you in the right direction, saving you not only time but unnecessary confusion and pain.