I ran across an affirmation on a Facebook page last week that said “I am grateful for my life.” I had to sit a bit to catch my breath after reading that.
I have been trying to bring more gratitude into my life. I have read too many experts that talk about how more gratitude means less stress and more happiness, more joy.
I’m hit or miss with this my gratitude practice, although it does bring me quite a bit of peace when I manage to remember to do it.
But being grateful for my life? I have to admit when I read that it was a low point in my day. And it was painful to realize that my immediate response was “I don’t believe that!”
My next thought was “Oh, shit! Do I really feel that bad about myself and my current situation?”
At that moment it was true, but I knew it was not the only truth in my life at that time.
I have been tuning in to Rick Hanson‘s weekly meditation and podcast.
And listening to his book “Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness” on audio.
I am very much enjoying the audio version because Rick reads it himself and it is wonderful to listen as he does the guided meditations.
One thing Rick talks about is really feeling the moments of pleasure and enjoyment. Really observing their impact on your mind, body, and emotions and allowing that to sink in. To focus on the positive experience that we often rush past in order to focus on the next challenge.
I definitely have lived my life wanting to be seen and wanting to have enjoyable and pleasurable moments. But I never really spent time feeling them or feeling grateful for them. I was too busy bracing myself against the self-criticism and shame. I never felt I deserved to feel joy, so I never allowed myself to.
But hearing Rick talk about how this practice of taking in positive experiences, really taking them in as precious jewels we can gift to ourselves, has me slowing down and opening myself more and more to those moments.
And now I understand why photography and now art have been such an important part of my healing journey. Before now they were the only times I truly allowed the beauty I was experiencing, even creating, to sink into my soul.
My work is to let those moments be received as often as I can and grow my resilience and my capacity to live my life with joy.
