I believe the #MeToo movement was profoundly important in bringing awareness to sexual abuse and assault, and in giving victims and survivors an opportunity to share their stories and be heard, many for the first time.
I did not join in #MeToo. Although I was awed by the bravery of the thousands of women stepping forward to declare themselves, I was not ready to join in, even in the relative anonymity of the internet.
My abuser was already dead for many years, and I had been focusing my energy on healing rather than the past and the trauma.
Over the years, I’ve always been very careful with who I share my story. Only very good girlfriends, eventually boyfriends if things progressed far enough for me emotionally (because of the impact the abuse had on my body imagery and my sexuality), and therapists. I only told a couple of people in my family.
In fact, my sister was the one who revealed my story to my parents (without my permission) which was enough of a lesson for me that from then on I wanted to be the one in control of who and where my story was shared.
I spent two years writing my manuscript Thriving After Sexual Abuse, where I was declaring, page by page, my membership in #MeToo and my status as a survivor transformed to thriver.
And once I had the book finished, I wanted to begin sharing my story and do my best to inspire other survivors to start their own healing journey.
Because for me it is not just #MeToo, or #NowWhat, or any other hashtag but Healing that is important. Self-compassion, self-love, self-respect.
And these things don’t require you to become part of #MeToo on the internet and come out to a bunch of strangers. You are not required to share your story with anyone unless you feel ready to do that.
Writing about your story, even if you never show anyone, even if you burn the pages afterward, is an important way to allow yourself to grieve, rage, shout, demand answers, put the blame where it belongs, and give yourself control of your mind and body again. This is something you can do for yourself without ever having to share it. #Writetoheal is one hashtag we all need.
And sharing your story with other survivors is a powerful way to process what happened to you, start to internalize it wasn’t your fault, and meet people who have been through the trauma you have that can understand like no others what it means to be a survivor. #survivorsknow
My point in this blog post is to let you know how important writing about my trauma and sharing with others has been for me and can be for you. But you are given permission to do these things in your own time and your own way. Be your biggest supporter and take the time you need for healing.
