I realized this morning that I have been living in a place of basic, instinctual fear for a long time now from lack of trust with our current President.
Without being too political about the situation, my authentic experience has been a lack of trust that someone was looking out for the well-being of our country.
I recognized that the sense of relief I feel- knowing that a new President is coming in January- is coming from the release of the constant experience of a low level of trauma and triggering that being in an environment where you don’t feel safe can bring.
There is still the fear and anxiety about the pandemic and trying to protect my husband with his multiple high risks. There is still the burden and emotional, phsychgological, and physical drain of spending 8-10 hours a day in a mask, trying to hold meetings virtually, trying to breathe while others are willfully not wearing their masks or wearing them incorrectly.
But today, at this moment, I can finally let go of some of the anxiety and rest in a sense of trust, knowing that better things are on the horizon. Hard work, challenges to be overcome, peace to be made, and changes that are needed, but trust that we have someone who wants to address those things head-on soon to be in place.
